I’ve been a stay at home momma for two years now. Don’t get me wrong, this is a blessing. Ever since I was little I remember wanting to be just like my mom. However that doesn’t mean I don’t feel overwhelmed. On one hand I feel so blessed my husband is able to provide for us so I can raise James. Watching him grow and learn knowing I have a hand in that is such an amazing feeling. On the other hand some days there’s so much to do and I feel like im drowning.
My mom was a SAHM to me and my three sisters. She kept the house in order, cooked us three square meals a day, and always had time to sit outside and watch us play. Boy did she make it look easy. I didn’t know how hard she worked or how much she sacrificed until it was my time. I didn’t understand the juggling act she had. I think because of my mom is why I hold myself to such a high standard. If she could do it with four kids, why can’t I just do it with one?
For a long time I struggled with trying to balance it all. I wanted to be that perfect Pinterest mom who did extremly artistic crafts everyday. I tried to be Suzy homemaker and keep the house spotless so my hard working husband could come home to a clean house and a hot meal. All while desperately trying not lose my sense of self. I started this blog because I wanted an outlet. I wanted to do something for myself. You know what happened? Life. James went through a nasty sleep regression. My husband and I started a rough season in our lives (which is normal). Every thing got turned sideways. My mistake was thinking I could keep doing the same thing. I kept thinking “they” have it all together why can’t I?
Heres the secret, “they” like my mom don’t have it all together. NONE OF US DO. With picture perfect Instagram moms and showy Pinterest moms its so easy to feel like youre failing your kids. That’s the funny thing about social media, youre not seeing their true selfs. Why would they show that side anyways?
Over the years of being home I’ve come to realise that while you can stick to a routine (in our house routines keep us on track) you have to accept that the routines will change. What works now is not going to work in three months. That’s just how children grow. What I have learned is that the best way to balance your life, is to not. Flat out. There is only 24 hours in a day. To keep youself sane some things will just have to get put on the back burner.
For me this was a hard lesson to learn but one I had to learn for myself. I had to prioritise what mattered them most for me. For me what mattered the most was: making sure James had a clean space to play and learn; making sure him and my husband had bellies full of good home cooked meals; and making sure my husband knew how appreciated he was. These were my priorities Every thing else had to wait. If that ment that I didn’t write anything for two weeks so be it. It ment having a weekly date night with my husband and not my friends, hopefully they understood.
The key to this is to make sure your priorities change with your life. Im not always going to be able to cook a home made meal every day and that’s okay. I’m not always going to be able to get the house clean in one night and that’s okay too. By rotating what’s important I can make time for myself.
For example. Most nights I pick up the house, dust, clean the kitchen and all that comes with it. Some nights I lay in bed watching garbage tv. When James naps I try to stretch and do some weight lifting or pilaties. Some days that’s the last thing I want to do. So instead I’ll go with the flow. That might be writting a blog post or reading my book of the month. Or it could be engaging on Instagram. For me those are equally relaxing. For me those are time well spent to myself.
It took me a long time to understand the balancing act that is being a SAHM. Between outside expectations and standards I set for myself, sometimes it feels like I have too much on my scale and I am going to fall over trying to keep it steady. The lesson I have learned is that every day is a new day. Which means the same things you struggled balancing with yesterday will not be the same things on the scales today. Pick and choose what you are willing to balance. Set your priorities and remember to switch them up when the weight feels too heavy. I have learned this is the best way to balance your life.